


Painkiller

by ZenHeyerdall



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fantastic Racism, M/M, More Relationships to be added, More characters to be added, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, TW for caleb's backstory, some sort of vengeance circus au??, towards goblinds and tieflings most likely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZenHeyerdall/pseuds/ZenHeyerdall
Summary: Bren Aldric Ermendrud knows that he's a dead man and knows that he has to disappear as soon as possible. To avenge his family he has to survive and become strong enough to defeat his demons and to do so, he will do whatever it takes.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	1. Prologue

_Run, run like you've never done in your life._

It was the only thing Bren could think about as he fled the sanatorium where he had spent the last few years locked up. He had to because he knew if they caught him this time after everything he had done they would kill him on the spot and he still had a lot to live for.

He didn't mind dying but first he wanted to care of some stuff and he had already lost too much valuable time in that place, years that he wasn't going to be able to recover and of which he barely remembered anything that hadn't been previously implanted in his head.

Now he was no longer able to differentiate between what had been real and what had not, did he really killed his parents by order of his old master ? And he had been tricked by him into doing it or had it been all a bad dream?

Of course he knew, within himself, that this was true, that he was a monster who had killed the people who loved him the most and who were so proud of him that they would have given him the moon if he had asked for it.

He wanted to scream, hit a wall until his hands were hurt, whatever helped him to bear that pain, that shame and disgust that he felt towards himself.

But most of all, he wanted to kill Trent.

Although he had to get out of Rexxemtrum alive first, he had been lucky to have escaped from the sanatorium but he knew that they would soon discover the body of the guard he had killed in his flight and raise the alarm when they saw that he wasn't there. Luckily for him he knew the streets of the city well enough to avoid the Crowsguards and avoid further trouble. He didn't want to kill anyone else but ... he knew he was going to have to.

Bren hid in the darkness of an alley when he heard footsteps that seemed to get closer to the position he was in, he thought of casting disguise self to pretend to be a drunk man who was sleeping hard in that place.

Someone who could go unnoticed while fleeing the city.

In the end he chose to disguise himself as a homeless man. He had remembered that very few people noticed someone who was dirty, smelled bad and his clothes were disgusting, so he disguised himself as a middle-aged man dressed in tattered clothes, with long dark hair, one-eyed and a beard of several weeks. There was nothing special about him, nothing that stood out or was worth remembering.

And that was just what he needed because even when he was away and the Crowsguards tried to remember if they had seen him, they wouldn't do it.

Perfect.

Now he just hoped his nerves weren't betraying him, that the avalanche of memories that had returned to his mind didn't trigger an anxiety attack. He had to keep everything under control until he was far enough away that he could afford to lose control and cry over everything he had lost and what he had done until he fell asleep. But he couldn't shake the sense of disgust he felt towards himself and he couldn't forget everything now that his mind, for the first time in years, was clear and free of false memories. What had he done? How had he been able to do that to his parents?

A monster, he was a monster, only someone like that would be capable of committing the worst of crimes, killing his parents, the people who gave him everything, supported him and who felt very proud of the achievements of their wonderful son.

And he had killed them, he had burned his home where he had grown up with them inside, he had heard them screaming for their lives and that had broken him and sent him to the sanatorium... And there was nothing left, only the memories in his perfect memory to torture him.

_Murderer._

His mother's voice sounded in his head, calling him that way in his head and screaming because she was dying in one of the worst possible ways and caused Bren to stumble on his way and fall to his knees to the ground, putting his hands to his ears. as if that could make the voice shut up. Bren knew that and still tried. He tried to silence the voice by closing his eyes and remembering components for spells that he knew but it didn't help him, his perfect memory was incapable of forgetting and the screams of his parents were going to resonate forever whether he was awake or asleep.

_Not now, you can't afford this now, you have to get out of here before Trent finds you. You're not fine and maybe you will be always like this, broken but you can't stay here longer or they'll catch you and this time they won't lock you up in the Vergessen sanatorium._

Bren scrambled to his feet, clinging to a wall to help him do so, forcing himself to push those thoughts and memories away and slowly walk the streets. He doesn't stop hearing the voices but tries to ignore it, it was more important to stay alive, he had to live, become stronger and return to take revenge on Trent.

He wouldn't rest until he had avenged his parents.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bren tries to survive in his new life, unfortunately things don't go well for him.

Two months after his escape from Rexxemtrum, Bren could say that he had never been as dirty and hungry in his entire life as he was right now.

Of course, he had been doing well for the moment, although he no longer used any spells to alter his image and look like someone else, Bren still used the theory that no one paid attention to a filthy and vulgar homeless man. That's why he had spent all that time looking as dirty as possible and it had worked for him, during all that time no one had bothered him.

Bren didn't know the name of the town he was in at the time and he actually supposed he didn't care either because he had only approached it to see if he could steal something to eat since he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something and if he wanted to continue on his way, he must gain strength. It was stupid to have survived Trent and end up starving to the death.

He still felt insecure and a couples of time he had found himself touching the amulet that now served as his only method of hiding from those who wanted him, believing that he was still not safe and waking up many times due to the nightmares that he had. It made him believe, for a few seconds, that he was still trapped in that asylum or that his entire flight hadn't been real, that he was still his pawn.

But he only had to look at his arms, wrapped in dirty bandages, to realize that it was real.

Bren had sat on the cold ground as he watched people pass through what he assumed to be a market, crowsguards making rounds, children scampering and playing, women shopping and men at their jobs or carrying bales of straw , boxes full of fruit or wine barrels.

He has to admit that it is a nice place, with simple and hardworking people from what he has seen, the kind of place that he had thought in which his parents could live after retiring from the farm to have a good life, it was for everything what he had fought and endured his first years as a student, in order to give them a better life.

It didn't matter anymore, he supposed.

He waited for the market to fill with people so he could get up and mingle with the passers-by to look from place to place to see if there were any that were not well guarded to steal something. His intention was to get something to eat, fruit would be the most obvious choice but then he saw a small stall that sold various objects that would have looked like trinkets to anyone but for someone like Bren, with an eye trained to detect any magical object, it was something very different and unique, especially because he remembered that the Assembly had a habit of taking any magical object that caught their attention.

So when he saw that ring that shone for him more than any bag of gold coins, he knew that he had to take it and guess what it was and keep it or if it didn't serve him he could always sell it in another town.

In silence and taking advantage of the fact that the owner was selling some earrings to a young haffling, Bren reached out to quickly take the ring in a movement that didn't raise suspicion and wasn't awkward and thus avoid attracting attention or making noise. When he had it, he smiled to himself and turned around, ignoring that his plan was to get something to eat and heading to a secluded corner to identify it.

But luck wasn't on his side that day.

He approached the place where he had been sitting before, letting himself fall again with the ring between his fingers and with the idea of casting the spell that was going to allow him to identify it and know, more or less, what it was worth and if it was useful or not.

"Hey you, where did you get that ring from?" asked a voice.

Bren tensed as he realized that the person who had spoken was a Crownsguard who by the look he was giving him, he knew very well where he had gotten that ring from and he knew that it wasn't worth thinking about a good excuse.

But what could he do? He didn't want to use his magic and risk hurting innocent people, he had already left those days and he didn't want any more blood on his hands. He didn't want to kill any crownsguard and leave a child without father or a widowed woman, he didn't want to destroy more families.

But he didn't want to end up in jail either.

So he did what seemed like the most sensible option at the moment, flee.

But of course, it is easier said (or rather think in this case) than done. Because Bren is neither by far the most athletic, nor fast man and he is certainly not a born melee fighter like Eodwulf was, he always stayed away from everyone, with his fire as a weapon and mental calculations on where launching it specifically, so his attempt to run away unintentionally hurting anyone and using his magic is terribly disastrous.

So when he suddenly gets up with the idea of running all he can, he doesn't get very far before being tackled by another Crowsguard and being hit in the head against a wall causing everything to go black for a moment.

When he awoke he found himself locked in a small, dark space that smelled frankly bad. He then casted a dancing light so that he could have see where he was and when he moved around the small room, he saw that there was a small window right in the wall where he was leaning, too small for a person to pass, nor even a child could do it, there was a bit of straw in one corner and he suspected that the bad smell was coming from right there and in front of him some very narrow bars.

He was in a cell, great. In jail, doubly great and unable to use his magic to escape because he was terrified of hurting people who had nothing to do with his revenge or doing it to himself.

And now how is going to manage to got out of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is my birthday so I'm gonna post this chapter before the day ends and spent the rest of it...well rewatching last episode of CR.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and stay safe!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb meets someone in jail, someone who can help him escape.

Bren had always had a talent for knowing what time it was, regardless of whether it was nightime or daytime, but locked up in that place with very little light, listening to the rest of the prisoners complain, shout or even call their mother. ... it was impossible for him to know if five hours or two days had passed.

He didn't even know how long they were going to keep him there, probably between five and ten days, which was what the law dictated.

Very long days.

He had been locked up there perhaps for three days when he heard how someone was being brought to one of the cells, it was a small town so from what he had seen and heard there weren't usually many arrests, along with him he knew that there were two other prisoners, one condemned for venerating a forbidden god (Bren didn't know which one) and another for having fought drunk in a tavern and hurting somebody , so it seemed curious that in so few days there had been two arrests.

But even more curious was that the person they brought was screaming with a very shrill voice that pierced his ears and was making a rather annoying scandal. Bren curled up in the least stinky corner of his cell and closed his eyes, waiting for all the noise to pass. Then he heard the noise of the door of his cell opening and how a Crownsguard threw someone of very small stature (was it a gnome? A haffling? A child?) inside and then locked them and left.

Bren cannot see much of his cellmate in the dark but what he didn't know is that he could see him in the dark, the only thing he knew is that it sat right in front of him and seemed to want to avoid any form of contact with him.

"Hi" said the unknown person.

Oh, a woman, Bren wouldn't have expected to find a woman in jail, he wondered how it was that she had ended up in that place, what crime had she committed to end up having to cross her destiny with his and risk being with a murderer?

"Um ... ja ... hi," he whispers in zemnian. It's likely the first time in months that Bren has opened his mouth to speak to someone and his voice sounded...rusty.

"What?" the voice responds.

"Ah ... I'm sorry ..." Bren whispers again "I said hi ... it's Zemnian ..."

"Oh" for a moment the woman said nothing more and Bren heard her make a little noise and move her hands nervously up her arms, as if she were cold and he sighed, took off his dirty coat and offered it to her

"what are you doing? " she asked with suspicion in her voice.

"You are cold" he observed "take it"

"Why?" Bren noticed that she hadn't let her guard down.

Bren couldn't answer that because he didn't know it himself, he didn't think it was an act of kindness to compensate for all the damage he had done because no matter how many acts like that he could do, he would never be able to cleanse his hands of the blood of those he had killed or his parents. But it wasn't that ... he just didn't want to let someone have a hard time if he could help, it didn't matter if something happened to him, he could bear it.

"Take it" he insisted.

"You're very kind ..." she observed but her tone seemed to indicate that she still didn't believe him.

"I'm not" he replied.

"Don't be silly ... I'm Nott" she told him.

"Was?" Bren was sure there was something he didn't understand in that conversation.

"I'm Nott, that's my name," she explained.

"That's ... weird" and the wizard didn't know what to say to that because it was the first time he heard someone called that way.

"And ... what's your name?" Nott asked him.

Ah fuck.

Bren wasn't sure what the best answer was, he wasn't sure if he should say his name to someone he didn't know because he didn't know if they were looking for him, if his name was whispered by Crowsguards across the empire or if Trent he had sent his people to caught a young man named Bren . But he had to give Nott an answer.

" _Ich_ ... my name is ... Ca ... Caleb" whispered "Caleb Widogast"

He didn't know where that name came from, he didn't remember having read it in a book or heard it somewhere, it just popped up in his mind and when he heard it out loud, it didn't sound bad at all.

"Nice to meet you, Caleb" she observed "so ... why are you here?"

"I stole something" he replied without going into details "You?"

"Ah ... I stole something too ... cherry wine" she said "and also because of what I am ..."

"Was?" Bren didn't have darkvision and it was already getting dark so he couldn't see it, so he summoned a dancing light to illuminate the cell a bit. "What do you mean?"

Frankly, he was surprised to see that the person he shared a cell with had green skin and hair and big yellow eyes, he didn't expect to meet ...

"I'm a goblin" Nott told him, cutting off his thoughts.

"Oh" Bren is not quite sure what to think about that, he has heard stories about goblins and maybe some are true or maybe some are exaggerated. He wasn't sure about it and he wasn't the one to judge anyone.

"Just that? Aren't you going to scream, try to kill me, or ask to change cells?" the goblin looked surprised.

"Nein" he replied. Anyway, of the two, he was the danger to her and not the other way around.

Then there was silence between them in the cell, Bren thought that Nott had fallen asleep and considered that the best thing he could do at that time was to do the same, the only thing he could do in fact, given the circumstances, was to rest and sleep so that he could quickly leave one once they let it go. Although sleeping was being a luxury these days and he preferred not to tempt his luck and find himself haunted by nightmares with someone he didn't know nearby and who could ask about what was happening to him. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone.

But after a while he started to hear a noise coming from the side of the cell where Nott was supposed to be, it sounded like she was trying to open some metal.

"Nott? What are you doing?" he asked in a low voice.

"I'm not going to stay here any longer" she whispered "I'm a goblin, Caleb, they're going to kill me, without hesitation "

"So ... you're trying to escape?" he asked her again, this time something more interested.

"Yeah, but I can't" she murmured "I could do it if I had something to pick the lock but I have nothing"

"Maybe I can help" he whispered invoking Frumkpin, his familiar, who rubbed himself between his legs "I have magic and this is ... my cat ... he's some sort of a magic cat and I can order him to go out through the window and go find what you need to open the door "

"That's so cool!" she exclaimed "You're awesome, Caleb!"

"It's ... it's nothing" he whispered.

"Can I pet him? It would be okay? "Nott seemed completely excited to pet the cat and Bren finally nodded and ordered Frumpkin not to hiss or scratch her" I've never petted a magic cat, it seems ... normal.

"Well ... it's a very special cat" he observed, scratching the animal behind the ears "and it will help us get out of here"

"And what will we do with the guards?" Nott decided to approach him so that they could better plan what they were going to do.

"I'll ... create a distraction so we can go out without them seeing us" suggested Bren, which wasn't going to be nice but if it went well, it would get them out of there.

Bren hadn't considered running away until that moment, he wasn't skilled at picking locks but if the goblin was, he would make something that would let them go away without trouble and without any injuries. Perhaps a little fire would be enough, a small one to avoid causing any harm to everyone who was there, only to cause some commottion . He was sure he could do something like that and if it went well, it would be a good plan and it was better than wasting time in that cell and risking his name reaching the wrong ears.

"It's a plan, I trust you, Caleb" the wizard was surprised, he didn't understand why she was putting all her faith in him so quickly. Maybe it was for sheer survival but even so, he would have had his misgivings if he was in her shoes.

"Dan ... _danke_ ..." he didn't know what else to say other than a thank you for her trust "I'm ... I'm going to send Frumpkin now, okay"

"Sure" she observed "do you have experience, Caleb? Getting out from places like this? "

"Er ... something like that" better not tell her that he had escaped from an asylum if he wanted her to help him escape. It was then that Bren indicated the order to Frumpkin to look for some wire so that Nott could open the door, the cat passed through the small window without problems and soon he was out of sight for Bren "and now we wait"

"How long will it take ?" she asked him.

"I don't now, if we are lucky an hour ," he admitted but couldn't promise anything.

Frumpkin took about half an hour to return, but when he did, he left a wire in Bren's lap, who gave it to Nott, who began to maneuver to open the door. Bren let her work in silence, waiting for the signal that he could begin the distraction.

"Caleb" she said at last to get his attention.

"It is done...?" he whispered approaching to check the cell, seeing that he could open it without using force he smiled "Well, get aside Nott"

The goblin didn't think twice and moved away from the wizard, Bren then took from one of the pockets of his dirty jacket the component he needed to cast that spell (noting in his mind that he was beginning to be short of these and that he must get, somehow, replace them) and throw a firebolt in the corner of the cell where the straw bed was. He had to make it believable because otherwise the crowguards weren't going to believe them, so the smell of burning was going to get their attention.

"Fire!" Bren yelled suddenly to get the attention of the guards.

"Fire!" Nott repeated, banging on the bars of the cell to get their attention.

They heard the noise of the guards but instead of approaching the cell as one would have thought they would, what they did was flee, leaving the prisoners to their fate. After waiting a few seconds, Nott opened the cell door and ran out, Bren leaving the same way seconds later without looking back. Both ran without stopping in the middle of the night until they left the village, the goblin seemed to know where she was going so she decided to follow her, at least until they reached a safe point where he could thank her and then he would go on his own path.

They ended up in a forest, Bren following as best he could the goblin who probably due to her darkvision was moving with more agility. Neither of them stopped until they considered they were far enough to be sure.

It's not like Bren thinks he's safe anywhere he goes.

"It worked!" Nott sounded really surprised.

"Ja, it did" Bren, in fact, was more surprised that no one had died at his hands.

"So ... we are you going?" she asked him.

"Ich ... I don't know" he admitted. He had no plan beyond fleeing away from Rexxentrum.

"Me too" admitted the goblin "I'm just ... you know ... surviving ... we make a good team, don't you think?"

"Ja," the wizard admitted. He had to admit it, Nott had many things that he lacked.

"I have an idea ... we could go together, travel together ... until one of us finds what he is looking for" she offered.

Bren had to take a few minutes to think about it, it might work, Nott was useful, whe didn't seem unpleasant and, as far as it went, no one was going to look for a red-haired wizard with a zemnian accent who was with a tattered goblin. Of course, he could also be endangering a person who had nothing to do with his life or had to pay the consequences of his actions.

"You don't know me," he observed.

"Neither have you and you have decided to trust me" she replied "if you are going to be willing to trust a goblin, I can trust you.

She was right.

He could this well, for a while, he could try.

"Um ... ja ... and where do you want to go?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always imagine who these two met so it was really fun to write this chapter!
> 
> Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave kudos or coment if you like it ( or if there something you wish I could write better!)
> 
> Bidet!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Nott arrive at Talonstadt when trouble and some weird people founds them.

A couple of months later Bren, or rather Caleb Widogast because that was who he was now even if he still called himself Bren, had learned a few things from his new travel partner.

Nott was curious, to say the least, in what little they had been together he had already seen that the goblin had some problems, especially with drinking. Bren had never known anyone who could drink so much day after day until she fell unconscious or vomited in a corner and ended up sleeping on his back, it even worried him but he had discovered, after being attacked by robbers, that a drunken Nott was equivalent to one that tried control the sticky fingers she had since sometimes he found her stealing buttons and other kinds of trinkets. He didn't judge her, when it was about some magical object, it was he who had them. He also learned, one day trying to cross a river, that she couldn't bear water, so instead of forcing her to cross, what he used to do was pick her up and walk by. Bren was terrified of his own fire so he could understand being afraid of something.

For the rest, he considered that she wasn't the worst partner he had ever had and was grateful that she was watching their backs and that was the important thing, that they kept each other safe.

In the last week of their trip they had reached Talonstadt for the first time, after several days walking in the cold rain they had been thinking of heading out of the empire but it wasn't something they were completely clear about but it wasn't a conversation they had really had. Bren sometimes felt that Nott, despite what she hated how they treated her in the empire, didn't want to get away from there completely but he didn't know if he was right or if he was just overthinking.

The point was that they had decided to end up in that place and stay for an indeterminate time, maybe a week, long enough to earn some money with their cons and he could get components or a book that caught his attention.

Upon arrival they had noticed a row of wagons of eccentric colors and arranged in a way that mimicked a camp or a small town. In the center of these he saw that there were people of different races setting up a kind of huge tent.

"What is that, Caleb?" Nott asked him, donning the broken porcelain doll mask she used to wear when they were surrounded by people who could recognize her as a goblin.

"Um ... I think it must be some kind of show" he observed "maybe there is some kind of celebration, a festival?"

"Nice! That means there will be a lot of drinks! " Nott seemed delighted at the prospect, Bren wasn't going to blame her for being excited since they had been traveling through the roads and forests for several days and hadn't had time to eat a good meal or drink.

Maybe they had some money to pay for a hot meal and a bed.

He had read that Talonstadt had become the refuge of Ravenites who had to flee from Draconia after it was destroyed after the Chroma Conclave . The truth was a place somewhat forgotten by the Empire since it was the Cerberus Assembly that had placed them at the base of the Ashskeeper Peaks because the crown wasn't very interested in offering refuge to a series of people who could become problematic due to their political interests and revolutionary intentions.

So more or less, he knew what to expect from the place.

There was no celebration whatsoever, it is the first thing they noticed as soon as they entered, in fact the atmosphere was quite calm, most of the residents, dragonborn clearly, were dedicated to their work or their daily life tasks. No one looked at them twice as they headed towards an inn to see if they could eat anything.

They went to a small inn located in what seemed to be the center of town, at first glance not unlike any other normal building except that it had a sign hanging on one side that said "The Golden Scale." When they entered they were greeted by a surprisingly lively atmosphere when compared to the outside with several tables occupied by many dragonborn, a few humans and a couple of hafflings who were chatting animatedly at the bar with the barkeep, an emerald green dragonborn. When he saw them, he made a displeased face thinking perhaps that he wasn't going to get much with two clients who were so dirty and ragged but even so he tried to put his best face, in a place like that, he doubted they would see many foreigners.

"Welcome to the Golden Scale" he greeted them with kindness but not without much enthusiasm "My name is Rhogar and I am the owner of this humble inn, are you from the circus?"

"Circus?" asked Bren, did they really seem like that kind of people?

“Yes, one has been installed outside and they will be there for a few days from what I heard” he informed them “how can I help you? Are you looking for accommodation for the night or a good beer and a hot dish? "

Bren considered the idea of at least sleeping a night in a decent bed without having to worry about whether they were going to be attacked by someone or some animal. He thought that Nott deserved to sleep out of the cold and rain too.

"How much can a room come out?" he asked. If the price was reasonable, he would consider it "For ... about three days," he added. For the moment, if they were doing well maybe they would stay longer.

"Two golds with dinner and breakfast included" he informed them.

Bren glanced at Nott, whose clothes were damp from the rain they'd endured two hours ago, and sighed.

"Okay" he agreed at the end.

Both had a decent dinner after many days of barely eating, and were so tired from the long day that it didn't take long for them to retire to sleep.

And the wizard was lucky because that night, he had no nightmares, which was appreciated because he didn't feel like waking up screaming even though Nott was used to it, both deserved a full night's rest.

The next morning and after a bacon-based breakfast, the couple went out to see what was interesting in the town, either to buy it or to see if there was someone in particular they could approach with a concrete con already planned. And if all went well, in a few days they would be leaving Talonstadt with a little more money than they had at the moment.

After a walk Bren found a bookstore which he couldn't avoid going through if he found a book that would be useful or at least catch his attention. It was there that he spent practically the entire morning while Nott was sitting next to him on the floor, taking a drink from his flask patiently waiting for him to be ready. Although there were a couple of moments when he could have sworn the goblin would wander out of sight to wander the shelves, perhaps looking for something to take with her.

Sadly, his budget didn't allow him to buy any books right now, again, it was something to think about if things went well for them. He had already had his eye on a couple he wanted to take, so he hoped he wouldn't lose them.

But when they came out they noticed that there was a commotion in the street, there were people lined up, looking at something, a stir of colors and music that made them approach.

And then Bren saw it.

His eyes fell on a two people who passed in front of him, it was a pair of tiefling of unusual colors. There was a blue tiefling dressed in the most expensive and adorable clothes he had ever seen who carried with her a gigantic pink and white lollipop that must have been heavy but which she lifted with enviable ease. Beside her was a purple tiefling, with a tattooed half face and horns full of charms and gold and silver earrings, dressed in very broad and colored clothes that was juggling two scimitars.

"Circus people" whispered a dragonborn next to him.

That was obvious, it was clear that they were part of the circus, you only had to look at them to realize it.

It was then that the purple tiefling stopped paying attention to his swords and turned to fix his eyes red as blood in Bren, perhaps he must have felt observed although he thought that everyone was doing it, but only he decided to wink blatantly to him, causing Bren to freeze and look away.

"Caleb, are you okay?" Nott asked him.

"Um ... _ja_ ..." Bren muttered, still not used to being called that way and sometimes it took a few seconds to answer.

"Do you want to go to the circus?" she asked.

" _Nein_ ..." Bren shook his head. He didn't feel like being around strangers, and besides, he doubted they could have enough money to afford a night of fun.

The distraction of the circus in Talonstadt gave Bren and Nott a chance to work withouth the crowsguard focusing on them because they were more focused on controlling the strange people in the circus . So they had some freedom for a couple of days to get some extra money.

Bren was happy, he had enough money to buy one of the books he had seen the first day in town. He had arranged with Nott that he would go to buy one of them while the goblin stayed alone for a few minutes in the room they both shared at the inn. They had planned to leave the next day.

In theory he wasn't going to be out for so long, Bren knew what he wanted but told her that if he needed something to send him a message, as he had taught her.

But he had just come out of the bookstore with a new book that was about local fables when Nott's voice spoke in his head.

"CALEB! We have problems! At the inn! " he said and after a few seconds added "You can reply to this message!"

He immediately went to the Golden Scale as fast as he could without raising suspicions from the locals, he entered the inn so fast that he slammed the door open and it hit the wall with force. That's when he saw that Nott was in a corner, her loaded crossbow pointing at a group of five people who, although they didn't seem to be armed, weren't very happy. And Bren understood why, the goblin wasn't wearing her mask, which was lying on the ground, but also that she had her hood down and everyone could see who she was.

  
Oh Scheiße .

He doubted he could fix this, there was no way he could calm things down and there was no way they were going to get out there without a fight. And he didn't feel like starting one, precisely, in closed and small spaces it was difficult for him to calculate where he could launch his spells and thus avoid hurting some people who he didn't mean to hurt.

In this case, Nott.

"Caleb!"

Right, he didn't have time to plan anything.

Bren acted on his own instinct, later he would think about everything that happened and ask the goblin why happened but at that time it wasn't the most important thing, launching a beam of blue energy that impacted between the group that had cornered Nott. This made them jump and recoil a bit. He thought that was enough to make them think twice before attacking Nott or him.

But it wasn't like that.

Instead, what happened was that one of the men made a movement that Bren himself found alarming, since he seemed to want to remove something that was hidden behind his back but before he could take care of whatever it was that was going to happen. The goblin reacted on the spot by firing her crossbow and driving the bolt into his arm, causing him to drop a kind of hunting knife.

And that's when everything got worse because what the wizard had tried was to avoid injuries, to scare them precisely, to avoid spilling blood or a fight, he didn't want a fight.

One of the men, a tall, burly man, approached Bren with eyes full of hatred and didn't hesitate to grab him by the collar of his coat, which made Nott yell to leave him alone, that his fight was with her and not with him. The wizard didn't like that at all and although he didn't want to get into a fight but he didn't want to be touched without his permission, so Bren struggled with it until he managed to push it with what little strength he had. It wasn't exactly his best idea because he couldn't get him too far away from him and it didn't stop him from punching him in the nose and stumbling a bit as the goblin yelled something and lunged at another in the group.

But Bren never fell to the ground, someone grabbed his arm and although for a second he thought it was someone else who was going to hit him, this person only held him, preventing him from falling. Bren was surprised to see that it was the purple circus tiefling he'd seen the day he arrived.

"You okay?" he asked. He had a slight accent although he couldn't say from where and the brightest smile he had ever seen "Is there a problem?"

"Go back to your business, demon" snapped the dragonborn owner of the tavern.

The tiefling in question instead of taking offense, welcomed the comment with a laugh, as if they had told him a good joke. Bren, if he hadn't been so tense about what could happen, would even have been surprised by his reaction.

"I decide my affairs, I'm afraid" replied the tiefling "I wanted to come and have a drink before we go tomorrow but I think I'm coming at the wrong time."

"We are driving these thieves out of here," he informed her.

"We haven't stolen anything!" Nott exclaimed.

Not here, thought Bren because they had stolen elsewhere, especially the goblin when she had the itch but she knew that she was careful when she did something like that and that she wasn't going to stole from a inn full of people.

Although he recognized that it wasn't going to be the first time they had to run out of a town just because someone had caught her.

"I see " said the tiefling "have you seen them steal something?"

"No but she is a goblin so she sure has" observed the man who had beaten Bren "maybe she even ate one of our children"

"I don't eat children!" Nott exclaimed, which he knew was true.

"Bullshit" observed the tiefling "you have no proof that they did anything, you're being racist"

"I still don't want a goblin in my inn," the dragonborn snapped.

"And being yours you are in your right not to want it" he observed "although I consider it quite stupid"

"Get of my place before I call the Crowsguard," he announced reluctantly.

"Gladly" sentenced the tiefling and then focused his attention on Bren "you should come with me, in the circus we have clerics who can look at that nose" and then he looked at the goblin, who had turned away from the group and had stayed in a corner pointing with her crossbow "Are you hurt? We can heal you if you want and if not... you can come too. Ah yes, I am Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends and I think we are friends now so you can call me that ”he added, leaving the door of the place.

Both Bren and Nott shared a long look, that of the goblin of total distrust because she wasn't used to people treating her with kindness and that of the wizard ... well, Bren didn't trust that stranger much either, but he recognized that he didn't want to go through the rest of Wildemount with a probably broken nose, and if the circus had a fairly competent cleric he would take it.

"Let him heal you and we leave", Nott said at the end "I don't like him, I don't want to owe him anything"

"Let's just ... see ... this cleric and ... we will leave" he promised.

In fact, that was his plan, as unexpected as all that had been, to leave as soon as possible.

His plans didn't include befriending a purple tiefling and joining a circus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they met, finally.
> 
> Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave kudos or coment if you like it ( or if there something you wish I could write better!)
> 
> Bidet!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bren and Nott arrive at the circus and they get their first contact with the weirdest people thay had meet .

When he was a child Bren had seen many carnivals pass through Blumenthal, some better than others but all had caught the attention of the little boy who had wished with all his soul to be able to attend one but his family had had just enough money to survive and they had never been able to afford luxuries or whims.

So this was going to be the first time that he was going to see a circus and he wasn't thrilled about it, on the contrary, he felt too uncomfortable to be able to let his inner child out.

Bren walked behind Molly in silence as he greeted various companions from the circus, strangers to the wizard and nthe goblin, of different races and perhaps even origins, who cheerfully smiled at the tiefling and stared curiously at the ragged man with blood in his face and the goblin that was perched on his shoulders.

Nott was clearly uncomfortable with the looks they were giving her, it wasn't unpleasant at all but he knew she wasn't comfortable being the center of attention.

A lanky half-elf man, perhaps in his 50s or so, with long ashy brown hair and wearing a long coat and top-hat approached the group with a concerned frown, glancing at Bren, Nott, and then Mollymauk.

"Molly, what happened?" he asked. He seemed concerned but the wizard didn't know if because of the tiefling or the two unknown people "Who are they?"

"It's okay, Gustav" he hurried to say the tiefling to relax the man "they are ... they are ... Shit in the rush I haven't asked your name, don't put that face Gustav!" He added when he saw how the older man looked at him "They were accusing them of robbing at the tavern and as you can see that they have been beaten ... Jester or Caduceus can take a look at them"

"Ah ... I'm Caleb ... she's ... Nott" Bren's voice sounded like a whisper, afraid to raise his voice in that conversation.

As he spoke, Gustav fixed his gaze on the two unknown people who have arrived at his circus camp, Bren felt that that man, Gustav, was reading into his soul although not he believed that it was possible (but anyway, they didn't know each other, he didn't know what he is capable of, perhaps he was a powerful sorcerer with magic that he didn't know) or that he was at least looking for something in him or in Nott that told him it was better that the two of them leave.

"Very well ..." he finally said with a tired gesture "my name is Gustav Fletching, carnival master of The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities, may I ...?" he added, pointing to Bren's nose. When Nott had given him a dirty handkerchief that he was using to cover the bleeding . Bren, not quite sure of that, decided to let himself be done. Meanwhile, the goblin hissed on his shoulders when she saw him approaching "It's okay, dear, I'm not going to hurt him" he added to calm her down. Seeing Bren's face he grimaced “Yeah ... it's broken, without a doubt. I think Jester is free, I think she's with Toya, Molly, Caduceus is helping with dinner "

As soon as Gustav left, the red-eyed tiefling started walking in the direction of a medium-sized tent, Bren following him a couple of meters away. If he was honest with himself, he began to have doubts about whether it had been a good decision to follow that strange person to a place full of more strange and unknown people.

"Come on, Caleb" said Molly's voice "it's okay, I won't bite ... unless you ask me too, of course"

Bren felt the colors rise to his cheeks and he looked away, partly confused by the tiefling's words. Nott, behind him, made a gagging sound.

"It was a joke, just a joke, I'm kidding, Caleb" added the other when he saw the face of the human and the goblin "just follow me, okay? Jester will see you, heal you and you will leave, nothing else, okay? I won't force any of you to do anything you don't want to do ”.

"Thank you," Nott whispered and then gives him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder to tell him it's okay.

"Mr. Mollymauk? Don't do that again ... _bitte_ ”” he added by looking at the tiefling in the eye, he nodded, as if that wasn't a problem for him.

He didn't like it, it felt like the tiefling was laughing at him and Bren had neither the time nor the desire to be a joke. He hoped Mollymauk really understood that and wouldn't make such a comment to him again in his presence.

Although on the other hand it isn't that he had any intention of meeting him in the future, it would be much of a coincidence.

Mollymauk led them into the tent where two people sat on what appeared to be a makeshift child-sized bed. One of them was a dwarf girl with blond braids who had on her lap a book that a blue tiefling was reading to her. Seeing them the girl got up and ran hugging the legs of the other tiefling,

"Molly!" he yelled "Jester is teaching me to read!"

“That's so nice, sweetheart” the affection in Mollymauk's voice was genuine and Bren saw him bend down to hug the girl better “I have to steal Jessie from you for a moment. Jester, can you do me a favor and see if you can heal my new friend? "

"Sure!" she exclaimed . Jester, the blue tiefling that Bren and Nott saw with Mollymauk on the day of their arrival in Talonstadt, approached smiling "Hi, I'm Jester!" the wizard had to admit that he hadn't seen anyone who put so much enthusiasm in a greeting than that tiefling.

"Uh ... I'm Ca ... Caleb" Unlike her, he had quite low enthusiasm, he wasn't exactly having a good day and being with strange people wasn't helping him feel better.

"I'm Nott" the goblin introduced herself firmly.

“Nice to meet you both! "She exclaimed without losing her smile" Okay Nott, can you sit with Toya while I heal Caleb? He's taller than me so I need him to be seated ”

Reluctantly, Nott finally got off the wizard's back and sat down next to the girl, who was looking at her curiously. Jester then motioned for Bren to sit on the floor and when he did, she stepped in front of him.

"No," Nott replied. Technically it wasn't a lie, she hadn't stolen there "not there, at least, but they started to get violent when they saw that I was a goblin! They even accused me of eating a child and I don't eat children! "

"Those people sucks!" exclaimed the tiefling beginning to heal him with its magic “I mean, there we so rude to me and Molly, calling us devils and tellings us to go to hell. I was born in Nicrodranas not in Hell! "

"That's awful!" exclaimed Toya "Molly and you are so nice, you're not evil devils!"

"We know, sweetie but ... sometimes town people is like that" Molly told them "if someone tells them that goblins are all murderers, thieves, eat children, they will believe it, if they tell them that all tiefling are disgusting demons, they will believe it. They have no criteria to think that we aren't all like that. Personally? I don't care, good for them, you know? "

No, Bren couldn't understand that, he hadn't had to face people treating him in such a derogatory way because of his race or what he looked like, just in the last few months and given his decision to start looking like a vagabond and he imagined that it had to be far from equal to what the other three endured in their day to day since they were born.

"But it's so nice of you that you were there to help her!" Jester exclaimed "Not many people do that"

"Caleb is the best" observed Nott proudly "and we also take care of each other"

"That's good" she admitted "you look like you've been through a lot"

Both Bren and Nott didn't reply to that, each because they had their own reasons for not doing so. No one said anything else during the next few minutes in which Jester finished healing the wizard and pulled away from him making a face.

"One problem solved but ... you should take a bath, really" she said softly, trying not to offend him "I mean ... you smell really really bad, didn't they have bathtubs at the inn?"

"Ah ... what?" Bren had heard exactly what she had said but of all the things he expected her to say, that was the last, especially since they hardly knew each other.

"You know ... you bathe yourself in water," she explained. Beside him, Molly had covered his mouth with his hand to avoid being seen laughing.

"I know what a bath is" Bren was seconds away from wanting to hide from embarrassment.

"Oh good" she just smiled at him pleased with that "okay, it's done! "

Bren knew it, he had noticed that his nose stopped hurting horribly, Nott approached him and looked at his face and nodded, pleased with the result. The wizard then got up with all the intention of leaving that circus with his partner.

"Thanks for your help" he said to both of them approaching the exit of the store.

"It's nothing!" Jester said "I'm glad I could help!"

"So ... this is a goodbye" observed Nott "thanks you for helping us"

"It was nothing, really" Molly only moved a hand to downplay that "but you don't have to leave now, I mean ... Caduceus cooks very well and I think you need a good meal in your stomach and a good night of rest. It's getting dark, it's better to travel when there is light ”

"We can take if anything bad happens," Bren was quick to say. It sounded like he was feeling sorry for them and he had no humor to deal with it either. "Besides, I don't think _Herr_ Gustav likes you inviting strangers to dinner."

"I can deal with Gustav!" Jester exclaimed with a smile.

"Really we don't ...." but Nott's words were ignored by the blue tiefling who left the tent in search, probably, of the half elf.

"First thing you have to know about Jester, she's a force of nature" informed the purple tiefling with a laugh "Come, let's find Gustav and Desmond and ask them, you're right, we had to ask them first"

They found Gustav (and Jester) in the main tent, it seemed that the half elf had been helping with the dismantling and collection of the large tent that he had assumed at the time that it was where they were giving the show. Bren remembered that Mollymauk had announced in the tavern that this was their last night so he assumed they were packing up to leave as soon as possible the next day. People were running around picking up and placing boxes and sacks in various colorful wagons, as they headed towards the two men they passed a young halforc with dark hair and a white streak, who was helping a tan-skinned woman who wore a blue uniform that Bren was familiar with. Next to Gustav was another man, younger than the half-elf and bald, when he turned to speak to Jester, they both saw that his face was very scarred. That must have been Desmond, Gustav's associate and the other owner of the circus. The blue tiefling, seeing them, motioned for them to come closer.

“Desmond, this are Caleb and Nott, Molly's friends! " she introduce them.

"We're not ..." Bren started to speak but the purple tiefling gave him a light touch on the back, as if to tell him that he didn't have to say anything.

"I see Jester healed you" observed Gustav pleased "she did a really good job"

"That's because I'm a great healer!" she exclaimed "Probably the second one because Caduceus is great too and he's an amazing chef"

"Both of you are great healers, yes" agreed the man, Desmond "we are lucky to have you"

"Are you leaving? "The half elf asked them" You're free to go, that's for sure but it's getting dark and these roads aren't ... safe for a small group like yours "

"Yeah, we met a group of robbers a couple of days ago" Desmond explained "we're lucky to have members of the circus who can fight and protect us, like Molly and Jester"

"We can take care of each other" Nott assured them "it's not the first time that we get in trouble or that they attack us and we have done well so far"

"I don't doubt that" he informed her "but it's only one night, you can leave at morning if that what you want"

Bren didn't understand them , those people didn't know him, neither him nor Nott, they didn't know what he had done or who he was, why were they so nice to him? Was it something that all circus folk had in common or just these people? He couldn't help but suspect their intentions, if they wanted something in return, Bren had learned in the last years of his life that nothing was free, at least with Trent nothing had ever been because of the goodness of his rotten heart.

But he cannot think only of himself, Nott is part of the team, in a way, both are together because they are stronger that way but they had agreed that if one wanted to separate from the other, nothing would happen.

"Nott ... what do you want to do?" he asked the goblin.

"You can sleep with me and Beau!" Jester exclaimed "We can have a girls night and I can make your nails and your hair!"

"I ... I've never had a girls night ..." Nott admitted.

"Then you must come!" she exclaimed.

"Caleb ...? Can I ... can we? "The goblin looked into her companion's eyes.

"If that what you want ..." Bren thought that aside from a safe night and hot food, she also deserved to have fun with some people who didn't seem scared by what she was.

"You can share tent with Molly" Desmond informed him "if he has no problem, of course"

“Wonderful, it would be nice to have somebody to talk” observed the tiefling “I don't think Yasha will come back tonight, so it will be okay to share”

"Then it's setted" Gustav observed "we're going to keep picking things up until it's time for dinner."

Bren just sighed, letting himself be guided by the circus by those couple of tieflings and watching as Nott chatted animatedly with Jester about what they were going to do that night. Well, at least one of them that night was going to have a good time to forget the rest of the day and what had happened.

For his part, he only hoped not to regret that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bren and Nott spent the night in the circus and meet a buch of new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW because Caleb has a nightmare in this chapter.

When he was a child, Bren had imagined what it was like to be with people from the circus, they were a very different world from the one he knew and he thought that these people must have many adventures and must have all kinds of stories to tell.

Currently, Bren thought that nothing in all his childhood imagination would have prepared him for this moment, to hang out with people from the circus. He didn't know what to do or what to say and he felt that he was being the focus of all those people's eyes. Strangely, being that he was surrounded by very weird people, the one who felt out of place was him.

Nott, on the other hand, seemed quite, curiously, comfortable. No one there seemed bothered by the presence of a goblin among them. Probably because since they had arrived they hadn't stopped seeing that the circus was a variety of different races that were all over Exandria and although they hadn't seen another goblin, it seemed that they weren't judging it for what it was. Bren was happy about that because she wasn't usually around people who accepted him just the way he was.

Caduceus, a tall firbolg with pale skin, gray fur and pink hair, had approached them with two bowls of steaming mushroom stew as he saw them arrive next to the two tieflings, with a friendly smile, a hinted of curiosity in his gaze and a relaxing presence.

"Deuces, they are Nott and Caleb" presented by Jester "They will stay with us too night because it's too dark for them to travel by themselves!"

"Oh, that's nice" and the truth, he seemed really pleased with that "Come, sit and have some dinner with us, ti would be nice for both of you."

There was no table and chair to sit on, which was normal for a life on the road since he understood that it was more comfortable not to carry so much luggage with himself, it was logical that everyone would end up sitting on the ground, around a large fire and talking lively.

Jester had taken it upon herself to introduce each member of the circus one by one. Bren and Nott already knew Toya, the little dwarf girl who sang like angels, according to Jester. There were two haffling sisters, Mona and Yuli, who did stunts, there was a red-haired woman named Ornna, there was a creature ... that Bren didn't really knew how to define who accompanied the girl who was presented to him as Kylre, and then there was Bosun, a half orc.

After that the blue tiefling led them to a small group at the side of the fire and introduced them one by one to both of them. They were the two people they had seen when they were going to talk to Gustav and Desmond, they were Fjord (who Jester called Oskar and who had to correct her before the laughter of Beau and Molly, saying what his real name was), Beauregard, Beau. Yasha was missing, the woman who used to share a tent with the purple tiefling that came and went by herself.

"But is she going to know where you are?" Nott asked them “I mean, you're leaving tomorrow, right? And is she going to know where you are? "

"Oh yeah, she always knows," Molly assured them "Yasha is like that, sometimes it takes longer and sometimes less but she always comes back to our side."

"Aren't you worried that something will happen to her?" Bren asked.

"Of course!" Jester exclaimed.

"I worry everynight" Molly informed them "but I can't make Yasha stay, she got her stuff to do and I can't ask her to leave all of that"

"Do you even know what she's doing?" Nott asked her.

"No" Beau was the only one who answered and was blunt with it.

After that, Bren decided that it was better to eat and be quiet, he had nothing against them but he didn't want to gossip or bother with questions that he wasn't sure they were going to answer and he didn't really care. He was just trying to make conversation while they ate but he had no more interest in talking, he limited himself to listening to the chat that flowed in that group in silence although after finishing his meal, he ended up taking out the book he had acquired in Talonstadt and casted the little light that illuminated the pages.

"Caleeeeb, what are you reading?" Jester asked him.

"Ah ... it's ... it's a book about fey tales," he explained to the tiefling.

"A child's book?" Beau watches him with an arched brow.

"No, this is more explicit than what you would read to a child before going to bed," he explained. Unless you wanted said child to have nightmares that night.

"So no reading to Toya," Jester observed.

"Better not, Jester," Caduceus told him.

"I reckon she prefers Molly's tales" reminded Fjord "or yours"

"Do you know any tale?" Jester asked her.

"Ja ...?" Bren didn't quite understand the reason for that question.

"Then you could tell her one tonight!" she exclaimed.

"I thought you were going to have a girls night out?" he asked looking for a way to get rid of that task.

"We will but Toya always sleeps with Kylre" explained Beau "so she never comes"

Bren thought how terrifying it would be for any child to sleep with someone like Kylre, he didn't say it out loud because he didn't want to offend anyone but even he didn't know exactly what it was and he wasn't going to deny the evidence that it was scary. . So it surprised him that a girl who seemed as sweet as Toya wasn't having problems in this by her side. He supposed that despite his appearance, Kylre wasn't a bad guy.

"Well, you can always read it to me" joked Mollymauk "I'm always in for a good story"

"We ... will ... see" Bren was not going to promise anything, he would pretend to be asleep and hopefully, the purple tiefling would leave him alone.

"I don't mean to pry but I'm really curious about your story" commented Fjord "it's unusual to see a human and a goblin traveling together"

"We take care of each other" Nott told them "I save his life and he saves mine"

"That's all?" he asked her.

"That's all you need to know," Bren replied.

A part of him knew that they were just being nice, that the normal thing was to meet the unknown people who were going to spend the night because of the kindness of the owners of the circus where you work and live, he knew they were just making conversation but he didn't feel comfortable talking about his life, and Nott's, with some people they didn't know.

He had his secrets that he didn't speak of, not even the goblin who had become used to hearing him speak in dreams and scream in nightmares and then wake up next to her while she assured him that he was fine, that nothing was wrong and comforted him until sleep would claim one of them again (usually Nott because he couldn't go back to sleep after that). And the same thing happened when it was she who had nightmares, it was he who woke her up and consoled her until the terror in the goblin's eyes disappeared. Neither of them asked about each other's nightmares, and Bren was quietly grateful that Nott didn't. There was a kind of silent treatment between them, knowing, without the need to speak, that made them know what was going through the other's mind at that time.

"Hey, it's okay," Mollymauk snapped. It was then that he realized that they were looking at them as if they were analyzing the little they had said about their past "Caleb and Nott have every right not to want to tell us about their lives, they don't know us" He was surprised that it was he who said that but appreciated it.

"That's okay!" Jester exclaimed "we just have to be friends, right?"

"Ah ... ja ..." Bren didn't know what to say, the tiefling was the kind of person so full of life and charming that it even felt wrong to say no to something she asked. He would have liked to tell her he wasn't going to be there long enough for them to become friends, but the words didn't come out.

That seemed to be enough for her, who turned her attention to Nott to tell her that they were going to have a great time tonight, that they were going to read one of her favorite books, that they were going to get their nails done, and if she wanted to get braids on her hair. Bren watched Beau try to hide a grimace of displeasure at the prospect of doing that but saw that Nott was both interested and nervous and it was normal, that he knew the goblin had never had her nails painted or braided her hair, he didn't think that goblins were a race that did things like that.

The rest of the conversation varied on where they thought they were going to go after leaving Talonstadt and since it was something that didn't interest him, he dedicated himself to reading until little by little they left, Fjord shared a tent with Caduceus and both, apparently , they venerated the same deity (although they didn't say which one) and both wanted to meditate or pray or whatever they did, Bren didn't consider himself the most religious man in the world so he didn't really know if the same procedure was valid for all deities allowed in the Empire or not. After a while after that, Jester dragged Nott and Beau over for girls' night and he was left alone with Mollymauk.

"You know ... I'm sure I have some candles in my tent in case you want to continue reading" he informed him.

"Are you tired?" Bren asked him.

"Not really but it's starting to get cold and I'd rather be sheltered," he answered.

"Well, you are the guide" observed the wizard. He had no idea where Mollymauk's tent was and he didn't want to impose when he was a guest.

The tiefling then took him to a medium-sized store that on the outside looked as normal as the others but once they entered Bren was greeted by what seemed an explosion of colors and the smell of incense. Mollymauk's tent, inside at least, was just what he looked like. There were different tapetrys hanging around the place, almost all of them were colorful and with horrible designs but Bren distinguished some dedicated to The Platinum Dragon, there were also various trinkets, jewelry everywhere and also quirky and colorful clothes thrown to one side of it, there were many patterns decorative with moons everywhere, a few extinguished candles placed near the cot that made a bed full of silk cushions and some blankets that looked soft and expensive, next to this there was a small wood with a container where something was burning, the incense seemed, some tarot cards and more jewels.

It was noticed then that there was a side in the tent that had nothing that wasn't a cot with simple blankets and cushions, empty and with no one to claim it.

Yasha's space.

As soon as he entered, Molly took off his horrifying coat and placed it carefully next to his bed. Bren, who didn't know what to do, stood waiting for the other to say something to him while the tiefling made himself comfortable in his presence, taking off his boots and the white shirt he was wearing, revealing something that made the wizard speechless.

Beyond the intricate tattoos that decorated his body, the pyramid on his back with that eye in the middle and another above it, a moon and a sun flaking that tattoo and he saw that he had a serpent tatto that went from his right hand and all arm toward a floral tattoo on his shoulder and ended up being peacock with tail feathers on the side of his face.

But apart from that, what most caught his attention, once the tiefling turned to say something to him he saw that his entire torso was crossed by pale scars from cuts and various wounds, as if he had been cut (or had done it himself ) with some kind of knife, maybe the scimitar he carried with him?

"Like what you see?" he asked in a playful tone.

Bren flinched as his cheeks began to burn and he looked away, embarrassed by the fact that he had been caught staring blatantly. He knew it wasn't right, that it wasn't polite to stare at someone like that but he hadn't been able to help it, it was impossible not to.

"I'm sorry" he apologized.

"For what?" Molly welcomed his apology with a laugh "It's okay, I know how I look, I mean, I'm made to be looked at and it's okay to look, I'm not going to become air because you do it"

"Still, I'm sorry" he apologized again " _Es tut mir Leid_ "

"I already said that it was okay but if you feel better ... okay, you're sorry" after that the tiefling shrugged and approached the empty cot "this is Yasha's, as you can see it doesn't have much because she's never around so make yourself at home "

With no other ceremony than that, Bren sat on the cot earning a surprised look from the tiefling.

"You're not going to sleep in those dirty, smelly clothes, are you?" he asked.

"I have no other clothes" he replied simply.

"Well ... I can't leave you something of mine, we don't have the same size" observed the tiefling "I mean, you could sleep naked, not gonna complain but I think that you wouldn't want that"

"Nein, I wouldn't" he murmured.

"Okay, if you're going to keep reading you can use my candles, some are scented so don't be scared if you suddenly smell something strange" explained the tiefling "don't mind me. Good night, Caleb "

"Gute nacht, Mr. Mollymauk"

Bren, already sitting in his place and with the book on his lap, then observed how Mollymauk performed what seemed like a kind of strange ritual where he drew his swords, left them on his tunic and kneeling on the ground, he seemed to make a prayer.

Curious, despite all the religious symbolism that the tiefling wore on his clothing and inside that tent, he didn't believe that he was going to be someone truly religious but that he was part of the person he was, of his...persona. He observed him out of the corner of his eye, looking at his book to prevent the same thing from happening to him as a while ago, it also seemed to him that it was something intimate and that he was witnessing something that not many people used to see, so he felt that the best he could to do was keep reading and say nothing.

He didn't know how long he was reading but when he began to notice his tired eyes, he decided it was time to stop reading . Mollymauk had been asleep for a while, sof snores on the other side of the tent, and he thought the best thing to do was rest for the long day ahead.

But Bren didn't feel comfortable enough to sleep, everything was too quiet around him and that didn't help to calm his conscience or silence his thoughts. He was also uncomfortable, Nott was on the other side of the circus or perhaps close, he didn't know, and the rest of the people around him were strange and unknown, it could well be that he was sharing space with a madman who could kill him as soon as he slept, Mollymauk didn't seem like the sanest guy in the world but he didn't know if that meant he was a murderer.

In the end the dream claimed him but it didn't last long because the nightmares had to come back for him.

_He found himself back in the room with the three chairs, only that in those chairs there were neither nor he, nor Eodwulf nor Astrid._

_There was Nott and to his surprise, Mollymauk and Jester, all three chained to the chair, bruised and bloodied as if they had been beaten or tortured and Bren knew that both options were possible._

_"Kill them all, boy" Trent's voice told him._

_But he couldn't, the gazes of the three were fixed on his and he had to look away, he couldn't see the pain and fear in his eyes, the feeling that he had failed and betrayed them._

_"What are you waiting for, Bren?" his teacher asked him again "Do you really want me to do it? Do it, boy, we don't have all day"_

_"LEAVE US OUT YOU FUCKERS!" yelled a voice from the other side of the door._

_Beau, that was Beau, were the rest there too? Scheiße, scheiße._

_"Caleb ... I thought we were friends!" exclaimed Jester's sweet voice, broken with pain._

_"Caleb ... why?" Nott was the one who most firmly looked him in the eye._

_Mollymauk no lo miraba, he had looked away and was biting his lip to the point of bleeding, whatever he wanted to say, he wasn't going to beg for his life, on the contrary, he ended up spitting blood at his feet._

_More screaming in the background, Beau's voice rose above that of the rest, demanding his freedom and that of his companions, shouting that she wanted to know where others were. But Bren knew, no matter how much she screamed and struggled, no matter how much the rest did the same, they were going to die._

_"I'm done waiting, boy" Trent told him._

_He couldn't do anything, he wasn't able to move or speak or reply or protect any of them. He was like frozen, nailed to the ground like a statue._

Bren awoke then suddenly, with the sensation of the scream that hadn't come out in his sleep crawling down his throat. He was sweating as if he had run for hours without stopping and he felt that his heart was about to rush out of his body.

"Caleb ...?" Mollymauk's voice, sleepy and worried at his side alerted him but he wasn't able to give him an answer “Are you okay? A nightmare?"

Bren wasn't able to say anything, so he nodded and then lay back on the bed, curled in the blankets. The tiefling got up from the bed, heard him approach him and kneel beside him, he silently thanked him the fact that he didn't touch him because that would have upset him more.

"Hey, it's okay ... it was a nightmare ... but it's over, your here now, you're safe" said the other in a soft voice.

"Ja ..." was the only thing he managed to say but Bren didn't think so, he had to take the amulet between his fingers to make sure he had it with him, that the only thing that kept it hidden from them knowing where it was, was still with him. He was safe, but ... was he? Were they? He didn't know, he couldn't be sure if all his precautions had served any purpose, Trent could be in the shadows, letting him think that everything was fine and then attack when he was more confident.

"Caleb ..." the tiefling's voice was still soft, relaxing and grounding "it's okay to you if I hug you?" Bren shook his head, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that "Okay, okay, I'm not gonna touch you if that what you want ... do you want me to leave or do you want water or something? Do you want to see Nott?"

"Nein ..." Bren loved Nott but knew she would be sleeping, resting after, hopefully, having had a good time and he didn't want to disturb her.

"Okay, I'm not leaving ..." the tiefling thought about going to find the goblin because when the same thing happened to him he used to go snuggle with Yasha, if she was, or with Jester but Caleb didn't seem to want the same . He didn't know what to do with someone like Caleb, with whom he didn't seem to use what he normally would.

So the tiefling sat next to him on the cot, trying not to touch him, both in silence as Bren himself tried to relax, he offered his hand thinking that maybe a little touch would help him.

“Sometimes ... talk helps, you know. I mean, I have my dose of nightmares from time to time so I know what it feels like, ”he told him. Although he imagined that he wouldn't tell him, it didn't seem that Caleb was someone who quickly trusted another, much less talk about himself.

"Nein ... I think I need fresh air" Bren whispered getting up and heading towards the exit of the store. He needed to get out of that tent and stop being surrounded by that smell of incense.

As soon as he left Mollymauk's tent and felt the fresh air stirring his hair, he sighed and started walking to what was left of the campfire that had previously burned. When he got there he sat down, watching the ashes that remained in it, he thought about his house, how it would have been after the fire, if there would have been something left as a witness of the life he had once had, of his childhood. He wondered what this whole circus would look like if Trent ever found out he'd been there.

After a few minutes he noticed that someone was sitting next to him, silently, out of the corner of his eye he saw the figure of Mollymauk. Neither of them said anything as they watched the sunrise.

A new day for everyone, including Bren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!
> 
> I've been playing Hades a lot theses days but I'm still writing some here is a new chapter for the holydays!
> 
> Thanks you for the kudos and for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after has come but when Bren and Nott try to leave...something happens.

A couple of hours later, Bren hadn't moved , after collecting his things in Mollymauk's tent when he started packing , he returned to the same spot to make inventory ingredients for spells he had while waiting for Nott to be ready , he seemed to be counting the minutes to leave the circus.

Around him the circus was already fully awake and they had picked up so fast that there was hardly anything left that they had seen the first day they arrived in Talonstadt, it didn't surprise him as much as he would have imagined because in the same way that he imagined they were the type of people who traveled light, they were also the type that accommodated themselves without problems to any situation and place and when it was time to leave they picked up quickly and went on their way as if nothing had happened.

It wasn't that bad, he thought he could get used to a life like this, it was easy to go unnoticed surrounded by people from the circus.

But it wasn't a good idea, he wasn't sure if they were going to want him there or that Nott wanted to stay too and the idea of parting ways with his friend saddened him because even if they had started traveling together for convenience, Bren knew that he had become fond of her and that the same thing happened to her by the way the goblin treated him, so it wasn't as if he was thinking of going somewhere, or staying, without her.

And he also didn't consider that he could contribute much to the circus and to the lives of these people.

Once he had everything ready and noted in his mind that he would have components for a couple of weeks of travel, he set out to find Nott, wandering through what was left of the camp. He found her next to Jester and Beau, running back and forth, approaching other members of the circus to talk for a few seconds with them and go talk to someone else.

When they saw him, the three of them ran as if their lives depended on it.

"Caleb!" exclaimed the goblin, she sounded worried and that made him suddenly tense "Caleb, we need you!"

"Was? What happened? " he asked.

"Have you seen Toya?" Jester asked him.

"Toya? "Bren shook his head and remembered that of all the people he had seen since he woke up from his nightmare, the girl wasn't among them" isn't she in her tent? "

"You think we haven't gone to look there?" Beau blurted out "she's... She's not there!"

"And neither does Kylre" added the tiefling.

" _Es tut mir leid_... but I haven't seen her" Bren didn't know what else to say to them "Have you talked to Mollymauk or Gustav? Maybe she's with them “ it was worth a shot.

"I mean, she could be with one of them" she admitted.

"Yeah but not Kylre" added Beau "he's not very fond of us ... well..of anybody that isn't Toya"

"So they should be together, _ja_?" Bren didn't know the creature but he didn't think anything bad had happened.

"Yeah but it's not like Kylre is difficult to find" she added.

"Caleb! We can go to find Mollymauk and see if she's with him and later e can go talk to Gustav ”offered Nott“ and so we can also thank him for his help before we leave ”

Bren didn't really want to see the tiefling, they hadn't spoken since he had followed him to the stake after his nightmare and he was afraid that when he met again he was going to say something about it and worry Nott. But the look Jester shot him, as if she was begging him for his help in finding the girl, along with the goblin's, made him nod.

Finding Mollymauk was quite simple, mainly because he was very easy to locate due to his strident appearance, he was with Fjord and Caduceus carrying bags in a colorful wagon but the girl wasn't, that they saw, there.

"Mr Mollymauk, Mr. Fjord, Mr. Clay , _guten morgen_ " he greeted them.

"Morning, Caleb and morning to you too, Nott" greeted the half orc "did you sleep well? "

"Um ... ja" Bren replied feeling the look of the purple tiefling on him and inwardly prayed that he didn't say anything.

"Nott, how was the pajama party with Jester and Beau?" Mollymauk asked.

"It was great" she replied "I didn't know what to expect but it was quite fun, we ate sweets, Jester read a chapter of the new book she had bought, she talked about a friend of her called The Traveler and she made me these braids"

"Sounds like a fun night" he observed "well ... I thought you would have left by now but I'm glad you didn't, I wanted to wish you the best of luck first of all"

" _Danke_ , Mr, Mollymauk but we're not leaving yet" she explained.

"No?" the tiefling raised an eyebrow and looked at Fjord, who shrugged.

"Have you seen Toya or Kylre?" Nott asked them "We wanted to say goodbye to both of them before we left but we couldn't find her"

"Now that you mention it ..." Fjord muttered, stopping for a few seconds to remember "I haven't seen her since last night."

"I haven't done it either" admitted the firbolg "that's ... weird ... she always comes every morning to help me with breakfast"

"And she hasn't come today? She asked him.

"No," he denied, "I had thought that maybe she had gone with Jester to have her braids done or that she was still sleeping ... I hadn't worried until now ..."

"She was in her tent when I woke up almost at dawn to ... go pee" replied the tiefling, avoiding mentioning that he had actually been with Bren "whenever I get up for something like that I go to her tent to check that she is sleeping peacefully "

"Well, the only time I haven't been away was when I went back for my things this morning when you started picking up yours," Bren replied tiefling.

"Maybe Gustav is with her" observed Fjord "we should go to check out"

"Yeah ... to be sure she's okay and not worry anymore" commented the tiefling who, after leaving another bag in the wagon, began to walk "come on! I've seen him before with Desmond in their wagon. "

But upon arrival they found two things, first, Jester and Beau, as they had planned, were talking to Gustav and second, neither he nor Desmond had seen neither the girl nor Kylre.

_Sheisse_.

But there was still hope that someone else had seen her or that she was with someone else, so they kept looking for her until Mona, one of the haffling sisters, said she had seen her with Kylre a couple of hours ago, walking in the direction of the forest before reaching the river, according to the girl, she wanted to make a wreath for Nott and Caleb as a farewell gift, and Kylre would accompany her to protect her if something went wrong.

"They should have returned by now" observed her sister, Yuli "they can't take that long to pick flowers"

Bren closed his eyes, it didn't look good at all. He didn't know Toya but she didn't seem like the kind of girl that she would run away because she did and more than one place where she seemed to be loved and cared for like the circus. He didn't know Kylre either, he couldn't be sure that he was a bad person or that he had reasons to go and take the girl. He didn't want to jump to conclusions or judge anyone.

But the look everyone gave each other when they heard what the sisters were saying was enough to confirm that something was wrong.

Gustav, on the other hand, tried to sound animated.

"Guys, can you go to the forest to see if they are there?" he asked them “Maybe they just entertained themselves or got lost? I want to think they are fine "added the half elven" Caleb, Nott, I have no right to ask you to help us but we could use an extra pair of eyes "

Bren knew they didn't actually have to help them, they were just guests and only planned to spend the night but Gustav had taken them under his roof that night without questioning whether he or Nott were criminals or whether having them in his circus for less than a day was going to bring trouble or not. They had accepted them as if nothing had happened and he felt that, at least, he could stay there until the girl appeared. Besides, he wasn't going to deny that he himself was concerned if Toya had voluntarily left with Kylre, if he had taken her, or if she had gotten lost in the woods. Nott has already been helping Jester and Beau since the beginning so she probably wanted to keep helping.

_"Kein problem_ , Gustav" he said to the man "don't worry, we will help you"

"Thank you" said the man, relief and gratitude were visible on his face and his voice "We will stay here, to finish picking up and be present in case they come back ..."

"It's okay, Gustav" Jester told him "We will find her!"

"I hope so ..." Desmond admitted.

Bren knew the forest, a few days ago it was where both he and Nott had come, so at least he recognized the part they had traveled through. The rest of the members of the circus, except for Caduceus who had gone in search of some mushrooms and plants during those days , didn't really knew the whole forest.

"We should split up," Beau suggested.

"It would be a good idea" admitted Fjord "but we need a way to contact if someone finds something"

"Caleb and I can help with that" Nott offered "we can send messages to each other"

"Oh, that's very useful," Caduceus admitted.

"So the best thing is that we divide up and make this or Caleb or Nott in each group" observed Molly "I'm going with Caleb"

"We are odd" observed Jester "should we be one cleric per team?"

"I mean, let's go find a Toya, I don't think we're going to fight" Bren, of course, didn't want that "but whatever you want ..."

"So Molly goes with Caleb" observed Fjord "I will go with you, Nott, if that's okay"

"Fine for me" observed the goblin.

"Me too!" exclaimed the blue tiefling "we have to be the best detectives and solve this case!"

"Okay, I will go you and Deuces can go with Caleb and Molly, so if something happens they will have a cleric" observed Beau "If that's okay with you, Caduceus"

"That's really fine for me" confirmed the firbolg.

"Then it's settled!" Mollymauk announced "let's split up and if someone finds Toya or Kylre or some clue or something ... let us know"

And so they did, a group, Nott's, headed to the northern part of the south, which overlooked, as Bren recalled, was the Scymir River and a sawmill while they headed to the part that was closest to Gravelway Path, I hoped they had stayed in the forest and not left it.

"So ... what are we looking for?" Molly asked “Footprints? "

"I guess" Bren admitted "you know them better than I do, so if you find something that catches your attention or that you see it could be one of the two"

"Like what?" he asked her.

"I don't know ... a bow in Toya's hair or something she carries with her?" Bren tried to think of things that could fall in a forest if one were taken against his will.

"Kylre's footprints should be distinguishable," Caduceus observed.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, each one standing to one side or the other, going through the trees, looking for some sign that would indicate that both had passed by but after about twenty minutes, neither of them had found anything and Bren, frustrated therefore, he decided to make a radical decision.

“I'm going to try something” he announced to the other two “I can summon my familiar and see through his eyes, but when I do it , I won't be able to hear or see you, although I will talk to you if I find something. "

"So am I going to be able to tell you whatever it is that you won't hear?" Mollymauk seemed overjoyed at the idea.

"Mollymauk, we shouldn't bother Caleb while he works," the firbolg advised and Bren was glad that at least someone with a clear head had accompanied them.

"You're no fun" observed the tiefling sounding like a little boy being forbidden to do something.

"If something happens" said the wizard sitting on the ground "give me a couple of touches on the shoulder"

"So if you would notice if we touched you ..." the tiefling whispered.

But Bren decided to ignore Mollymauk's comment to focus on summoning Frumpkin and beginning to move through the forest using his familiar as eyes to see what he could find.

He didn't used to do that many times despite how much fun it actually seemed to him to see the world through his cat's eyes, everything was bigger if but things also looked differently and also, he could jump and climb trees and that was fun.

But this time he wasn't using that to have a good time, he had work to do. So he concentrated on finding any clues that feline eyes could see that would go unnoticed by his. So he watched and watched, he looked for footprints that would tell him if either of them had gone in that direction, he looked for recently plucked flowers, he even looked for blood in case Toya had fallen and hurt herself. Bren remembered that when he was her age a neighbor of his had gotten lost playing hide and seek there and that when he tripped over a fallen branch he had twisted his ankle and when they saw that he didn't return, they had had to go look for him.

That could have happened, children were children and those things happened, surely Gustav wouldn't care if she had a sprained foot or a minor injury as long as she returned safely.

Unfortunately everything that allowed him to arrive with the sight of Frumpkin, was in vain, he didn't find anything that wasn't normal in a forest.

Frustrated he decided to return to normal, his eyes lost the bluish glow that accompanied him when he used Frumpkin in that way. All around him he saw that his companions were waiting patiently for him, Caduceus was sitting across from him and Mollymauk, lying next to him, his tail waving impatiently from side to side. Realizing that the wizard had returned to them, they looked into his eyes, hoping he would give them good news.

"I haven't seen anything" he informed them making the tiefling click his tongue in displeasure and the firbolg just sighed "I don't think Toya got lost there or that she fell and hurt herself, I don't think they came around here, that they have gone in that direction "

"Well ... hopefully the rest find something," Caduceus admitted.

“This is ... fucking bullshit” Mollymauk muttered “she was okay when I saw her! And then ... she's gone? "

"Mollymauk ..."

"What if Kylre has her, Caduceus?" the tiefling asked his friend “'I've never wanted to suspect him because I am the first person that when someone sees him, he thinks the worst but Kylre has always given me bad vibes ... I wanted to believe that he wouldn't do anything but ... what if ...? Gods ... I don't want to think about it ... I should ... I should have check again on her ... before breakfast ... I should ... "

"If Kylre is the one who has her we will rescue her" Bren wasn't sure how they were going to achieve that and he wasn't sure that the best thing would be to make promises that he probably wouldn't be able to fulfill "blaming you won't help us in this situation, Mr. Mollymauk, and I don't even think it's your fault "

“I'm with you on that, Mr. Caleb” Caduceus admitted “because then it's my fault too, everyone's in fact. We have to think positive "

Mollymauk stared at the two men, Bren was trying to put himself in their shoes, if Nott was the one who was missing he would also feel guilty (although in his case there was a possibility that if something happened to the goblin it would be his fault , of course) but he thought that Caduceus was the one who knew him and who was the best person to convince him otherwise.

"Caleb!" he echoed Nott's voice in his head “We found a basket of flowers near the river! You can reply to this message! "

Well, that has to be good, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter six is up!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
